And it's over...

Well as of 1:00 pm yesterday the internship was over.

It was very hard to say goodbye. We woke up and had our last devotion in which we wrote acrostic poems to each other. We can't read them until fridayWe then packed up and cleaned the entire house. I got the bathrooms! Scott( one of the HCM board members) brought us lunch and we had our last meal together.

Steve was the first to leave. He told me not to cry and gave me a hug goodbye. It actually started people were leaving and the summer was officially ending. We went upstairs to tell everyone goodbye(Specifically Kayla Kerry and Sean the kids who live upstairs) Kayla tried to tell us that we were not leaving. She had a rough time with this. So did I. She began to cry as I told her we have to go. She ran to me and threw her arms around me and sobbed. It was seriously the saddest thing. We went downstairs and she followed us, never letting go of me. All she could do was cry and I followed suit. I love how she chose the most emotional intern to cling to. Silly girl. I mean Patti and Brittany could have totally handled it:P. We walked outside and said goodbye to Leah. Me and Brittany hugged and she drove away. So it was me and Patti left so we got in my car and drove to Capen street. (Around the block) I went to say goodbye to Dion. So hard also but I handled it. I am surprised I didn't cry haha.

I dropped Patti off at her house and then drove to Todd and Tegan's house. It's nice here but it's not Hartford. I miss everything about Hartford. I miss everything from the kids to the annoying ice cream truck. I miss Kayla screaming out our window "where patti?" I miss the kids banging on the windows during our evening prayer begging us to come and play. I'm just really missing it.

I prayed for a long time about this last night. I am a little bit more at peace with leaving but everything reminds me of my time in the Northend. As I go through this I know God is my strength and peace.

I really wish that as soon as I ended my time in Hartford I could have made the journey home. Now that it is over I just want to go home. I love spending time with Todd, Tegan and their baby Liam but it is so hard knowing that in 3 days I will be saying goodbye to them also.

My life was changed this summer. I pray that God will continue to keep changing me and keep growing me. I have complete trust that God is going to lead this trip where He wants it. I pray that we can keep Jesus as the foundation of this trip.

Thank you for joining me on this adventure this summer!

I miss you all! I will be home soon friends!

Last Night

Well today felt like the longest day so far. It was also our very last full day of the internship. We woke up this morning and had our devotion. After that we did an activity together that involved us writing/drawing things we learned this summer. We discussed how life before the summer looked like and what life will look like after the summer. We did some other random things like that. It was a really good time of reflection.

Then Jim gave us our next task. We were to write a 5 minute explanation of how our summer was, what we had learned this summer and how what we learned can be applied to our friends and family back home.

After these few things I began to feel pretty sick. It started off with being super cold and then my body aching all over. It was followed by me feeling so sick to my stomach that I couldn't even eat 1 bite of lunch. I went to my room and had Brittany wake me up when it was time for bible study. It was so weird. I never really slept and I didn't really feel much better by resting but as bible study progressed I felt myself feeling almost new again(despite this cold I have)

Tonight we had our HCM end of summer celebration. Wow. I honestly had no idea that saying goodbye would be this hard. After dinner we were split up into groups and we each had to do a skit or song. We made up a song about this community of believers that we live with and called everyone by name and it was just a silly song that meant a lot to us. All of the other groups did skits about us interns. It was great. They were so hilarious and pretty accurate haha.

After that we did the evening prayer that we did every night with everyone(about 20people) It was really good but we didn't get through three seconds without me crying. I honestly thought I was going to be able to make it through that. It was then time to say goodbye to some of the people we have been with this summer. That was really hard. Goodbyes are never easy for me. I am terrible at them. Just thinking about saying goodbye makes me nervous.

Tonight we packed our stuff. Just being in the bedroom with Brittany and Patti was really nice and comforting just to be with people. If I would have been alone I would have been a mess. Actually lets be honest, I already was and still feel like an emotional wreck!

My goodbyes are a little bit different in that I am the one going the furthest away. There is a good chance that I may not see these people for a really long time but I don't want that to happen. I will be back. My Heart is in Hartford. I can here God whisper for me to come back.

Please just pray for me. My heart is heavy and burdened. I don't want tomorrow to come but I just want to get this done and over with at the same time.

My summer was amazing and now it has come to an end. What next?

I love you all. Thank you so much for lifting me up in prayer all summer. I will see you all in a few weeks!

and the goodbyes have started

Today just started off rough. I woke up(and still have a sore throat) everyone else in the house is sick so it was bound to happen.

It just came at the worst time. I really just don't want to be sick right now. haha but who actualy wants to be sick.

So today we had our debrief of camp with our street leaders( High school volunteers) It went really good. It was awesome hearing about how they saw Jesus this summer. It was awesome to hear them just vulnerable with us.We went around the room and told each other good things and what we liked about each other. It was really touching for us all to be bonding in that way.

We prayed and said our goodbyes. Today was hard. I had no idea how hard that would be to say goodbye to them. It just made it more real that summer is basically over. I will be leaving here in a few days. Two full days left.

I can't even think about what it will be like to drive out of Hartford on Friday.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster all day long.

Tomorrow is our retreat of silence. Please pray that I can just be open to God's voice. Pray that I can stay focused on His plan for the afternoon.

Please also pray for my health and the others.We are pretty drained and weak. We need your prayers.

I love you

1 more week to go!

Well Camp NOAH 2008 is officially over. Its so weird.

I am still taking it all in. I really am just in awe over these past 7 weeks! They flew by!

There was good times and bad times. We had many challenges. There were countless tears from us and the kids. There was anger and dissapointment. There was violence and there were consequnces.

Even though we were always stressed, tired, overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and frustrated at times I would not change a thing. Through every tear and every frustration I just wanted to wrap the kids up in the biggest hug they have ever recieved and let them know that they are loved and they are so valued.

Leaving Dion may have been the hardest. I put so much effort into that kid. I put so much of my heart into him. I know God put him here this summer for a reason. Without even knowing it,Dion really taught me what it is to love.

Tre, his mom and sister all came yesterday. That was fun! I am so glad I got to talk with her and meet her this summer! She took my email address so Tre could email me! I am really excited to keep in touch with this kid! Hes great...but challenging :)

Leishla was pretty hard to leave as well. She was so sad camp was ending and she was so sad that we would be apart. We exchanged addresses so we could write each other.

Last night we (all of the Camp NOAH staff including all of the volunteers, leah, jim and us interns) went out to dinner at this really nice resturaunt downtown. We had a private section in the back and it was really good just to hang out and fellowship!


So from here there is a week of debrief then I head back home! :)
I am pretty happy to catch up with everyone! I am really excited to be back in San Diego but at the same time my heart has a special place here. All of the kids and parents asked if I was coming back next year and my first thought was yes. I told them I want to be back here for next summer, if not sooner for a visit!

Please pray for a smooth transition. Please pray for us as we reflect about the summer!
Also I have been getting pretty terrible headaches please pray for healing of those. Without insurance I can't really figure out what they are coming from or what I can do for them.

I love you all! And I will see you soon!

:]My eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things

These past few days have been great!

My time here is ending next Friday. I can't believe it.

Camp has been great this week. We have done so many fun things with the kids.

Monday was the best Monday by far! Usually Mondays are crazy because the kids come to camp after a weekend of no structure and sometimes no rules. They may not have received any attention so by this time they are starving for it...even if it is negative. This Monday I was really able to maintain my group. It took some work for Dion but hes doing so much better. There were a few times he got pretty upset but we talked about it and then he was better!

Yesterday we took the kids on a canoe adventure! It was so much fun! I will admit that I was very worried about it. I wondered who the first kids would be to flip their canoe or who would fall in. Thankfully, no one fell in. I was a little scared in my canoe. I had two 6 year olds. One of them, Leshia, was in front with the paddle.She was trying so hard but her little arms just couldn't turn the paddle correctly. And then little Larry was in the middle where he sat in the canoe so scared. It was really cute. There were a few issues. A few of us nicknamed yesterday tantrum Tuesday. ha ha so true.

Last night we(Hartford City Mission) had a benefit at Flatbread. Flatbread is a completely organic pizza restaurant. Steve played music and there was a slide show of camp all night long. The people working that night told us that last night was the best turn out for a benefit in a really long time( they have one every Tuesday) We are not sure how much we made but just in the donation box and donation cups on the tables was 120 dollars! so amazing.

Today was so interesting. My bed kinda broke last night so I woke up on a slightly slanted mattress. Rough morning. Ha ha. Then I went and picked up the lunches for camp( We are doing a free lunch program through the city) On my way home I passed our house by accident and was extremely confused. Then I got home and Brittany told me she desperately needed coffee. So we were quick like bunnies and sped off to get coffee for everyone! Camp was great. We went to this state park that taught us how to go fly fishing( we actually didn't get to go because the water was too high but now we know how) We also went on a mini nature hike. It was a lot of fun and the kids loved it.

Tonight was great. I took a nap and woke up to amazing dinner that one of our friends made us. Then we hung out for a bit. Eventually there was an intense sharpie fight. We did our daily examine but could not get through it without laughter. I have not laughed that hard in months. I was almost crying. I just thank God for fellowship and laughter.

Today was so awesome to sense God's presence even in the midst of confusion and situations that could potentially be frustrating! I really felt like I could rejoice even in the hard stuff.

It was also great talking to Sam tonight. A familiar voice from home is always good.

These next two days might be a bit nuts. Please just pray for energy and patience. Please ask God to calm my heart about the ending of camp. As much as I can't wait to go home and see everyone again, I am torn. I don't want to leave these beautiful children.
May God, who is a god who provides, a god of love, of patience, of joy, and of hope provide you with blessings and peace for the rest of the week!

Weekend Update

Yesterday went really well. Most of the kids went to the front of the room after we shared the Gospel message with them. It was beautiful. I talked to one of the girls in my group after. Her name is Leshia and she is amazing. She is 6 years old. She fully understands that her decision is to follow Jesus. Hearing that was so encouraging. If a 6 year old can have that kind of faith anyone can!

Last night we went to First Church for their end of VBS ceremony. So we went and they brought us interns on stage. For their service project the kids collected money for Hartford City Mission and donated 3 soccer balls to our camp! They raised almost 300 dollars! Wow!

After we went out to dinner with Todd and Tegan. It was so good to see them. It was so good to catch up with them. As good as the day was yesterday it was also really hard. My emotions were all over the place. I think a big reason for that was thinking about leaving and thinking that my time here is almost over...

Today was interesting...We went to prison. ahh! Actually we just went as visitors. One sunday a month this prison holds this event for guests to perform their poetry or raps/freestyles. Today Leah was one of the readers along with one of the high school volunteers.

One of Leah's poems was soooo powerful. She introduced us and then told the inmates what we were doing and where we were doing it. She then asked them how many of them were from the Northend of Hartford. An overwhelming amount of arms went up in the air. She then read her poem about us being with their children. It was so powerful. I just thought about the kids at camp and how some of their fathers are in prison. It was overwhelming to make that connection.

Curtis got up a little bit later and did a rap he just wrote. Curtis grew up and still lives in the northend. He shared that he was scared to be there. He shared that some of the dreadful things he has seen in his life. He related to them. He did such a good job. I knew that he could lead silly songs at camp and I knew that he could get the kids super excited but I never knew until today what he actually has lived through. It gave me a real life glimpse at what it is like to live here. I mean yes I have lived here for almost two months but it's a completly different situation.

We were talking later and Leah made a great point. Curtis beat the odds for this community. She said the first time Curtis ever went to prison he was not in shackles but he was empowering the inmates, he was proclaiming what God has done in his life. It was absolutley amazing.

Tonight I witnessed a real life fight outside of our house. I can honestly say that I am surpised that this was the first that I have seen. I am also very blessed to say that. God has surley protected us from danger this summer!

A new day...

Well today was a day of two extremes.

I did not want to get out of bed. It was pouring and I was cold and covered in my huge quilt. I woke up really overwhelmed with a really heavy heart. We discussed this morning how some of us feel burnt out because of how busy we are. Some of us also feel like we have not made much progress with the kids at camp. We just have to remember that this is the first time Hartford City Mission has put on a camp that lasted the whole summer...

Since it was rainy we did our bible story then showed a movie. After the bible story Steve had put together a hip hop beat for the kids to sing one of our songs to. The kids LOVED it. Eventually Steve asked if anyone danced and the kids went nuts! All of the kids just started chanting someones names right after another. They started with the staff and then went on to the other campers. It was beautiful. The kids were encouraging other and not fighting. I literally had tears in my eyes just watching this. It was the most beautiful chaotic situation ever! After that Leah decided it would be fun to play in the rain. So we told the kids to run outside and play! It was so much fun! The kids, interns and volunteers had a blast! It was awesome to actually play with them. I have never had so much fun playing in the rain then I did today! Before today I couldn't tell you when the last time I jumped in a puddle was!

Today camp was amazing. The best day so far...

After camp we came home and had dinner. Tonight was one of our last times to do some community outreach so Jim encouraged us to try something new today. We invited Dion, his mom and his brother over for dessert. (If you don't remember or if you are just starting to read this, Dion is the kid in my group who struggles with his behavior and who just has really been having a rough time at camp.) It was amazing. It seriously was so great to have them over. I just pray that we made an impact on that family.

Our day is pretty much over now. I have a bunch of reading to do and I have to prepare for a phone interview that I have scheduled for next week. (I am applying for a job at a preschool in San Diego)

I just have a few prayer requests:

Yesterday at camp we shared about Jesus and how he preformed miracles. I asked the kids in my group what kind of miracles they would like to see in Hartford. One of the kids said for the killing to stop. So please pray for that. Pray for the safety of these kids and their families.

Steve(another intern) just found out his Grandma has cancer. Please just pray for him and his family

Karl, a friend of all of the interns and a boyfriend to one, got word that his Grandma had a heart attack and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

Pia, a lady who has helped out teaching dance at camp, today her dad who has alzheimers has taken a turn for the worse.

We got all of this news throughout the day making the day a little bit harder. It's just pretty sad to see all of this. My heart goes out to those people and their families.

Also tomorrow is the day that we are sharing the gospel with the kids. We will be giving them an invitation to come to Christ. Please just pray for that. Pray that these kids will be changed by who Jesus is.

I'm super tired... time for bed!

Hey friends...

So it's been a while since I have updated last. Last time I wrote was last Monday...

Last week may have been one of the most stressful weeks here. There were a lot of issues at camp with kids and their behavior. Things have not really improved with Dion.It breaks my heart.

Last Tuesday we gave the high school volunteer assigned to my group the task to take Dion under his wing and form more of a one on one relationship with him. Halfway through the day Jeff gave up. UGH! This kid does not need anymore people to give up on him. He has been given up on too many times already. He needs to know he is loved. He needs to know that people do care about him. That was such a hard day. We came home and I cooked dinner. We ate a silent dinner in the basement and then had bible study. I got a chance to talk to Russel that night about my experiences as an intern and about camp. Russel used to live upstairs( until he got married about a month ago) He was also an intern for 2 years like 5 years ago. He now lives 2 doors down with his new wife) It was really good talking to him and hearing his encouraging words.

Wednesday we went to the state capitol for a tour. Half of the kids loved it.The other half well not so much. As for Dion...another rough day that led to him not being allowed at camp the next day. We hung out with the high school kids that night and went to a local church's VBS.

Thursday we went to Strattonbrook Park for another fun day of catching grasshoppers and soaking up some sun! The day went pretty well. It was calmer than usual.

Friday was a different day. Instead of doing the regular camp schedule we cleaned up the park. It was a little frustrating in that my helpers for the day wanted nothing to do with cleaning. It was also a little frustrating that none of the kids would listen to me and were just going absolutely nuts! I actually had to yell. And if you guys know me at well...you know that I don't like to yell. I was really just upset about having to raise my voice. That night we went out to dinner with Leah and her daughter. It was really fun just to go out with her and hang out. She is so encouraging.

Saturday was open house. It was fun...but hard. so hard. To see everyones family and to be awkwardly standing around with other peoples families was just super depressing. I mean it's expected being the one from California so far away from her friends and family. That night we saw the new Batman movie. I didn't really like it too much. Too violent.

Sunday we went to church and I took an amazing nap. We had our book discussion and then we had our weekly debrief. Because we all napped we were all super silly. It was hilarious. Me and Patti then went to the basement and had girl time. It was awesome. Just to hang out was amazing.

Today camp was better than every day last week but still a bit nuts. Dion was sent home. I don't even know where to go with him. Its just really sad...

Sorry this is so long...haha a lot happened.

Only 18 days left in Hartford... weird.

Please just be praying for the camp and the kids.

I love you

ps can't wait for road trip part 2

Your story is so important!

Hello from Hartford!
I am learning so much here! God is showing me so much! I hope God is teaching you guys a lot as well!
Today I realized how important it is to share your story. I have a kid in my small group at camp who is quite a challenge. He is an awesome kid, but very angry sometimes. Today was a hard day for him. As the day grew a little bit more chaotic I grew a little bit more frustrated but also a little bit more concerned.

He had isolated himself away from the group after I told my group that because of their behavior we would not be going to the playground (I was not their favorite person after that haha) He blamed himself for this and I told him that it was everyones decisions and behaviors who made this happen. It was no ones fault alone.

I began to tell him how I felt upset about having to do that. I explained to him that when I was his age and even older I thought everything was my fault. I told him that he was so loved and that he is valuable. I told him that he could come to me for anything. He still looked pretty upset after like 15 minutes of trying to calm him down and I again asked him if he wanted to talk about anything. Well he did.

He shared with me a little bit of his story. He also is adopted. He told me his feelings about it.I then shared my story about that with him. I think he was surprised that we, two different people from very different places, actually had something in common. It was encouraging to see him open up about more of his feelings after I shared my story with him. I really feel like this was a breakthrough. I really feel like God used me to get through to him.

I was on the verge of tears just talking to him. Our story is so different...but some of the feelings and emotions we feel about our adoptions is pretty close.

I want to encourage all of you to share your story. Embrace who you God is making you! Your past is important to the person you are becoming! I learned that sharing your story, getting vulnerable, and stepping out of your comfort zone is so important!

Love you guys!

Please just be praying for this amazing kid. If you want to pray by name his name is Dion. Please just pray for me as well and the relationships between him and the rest of my group.

The weekend!

Friday after camp we set out for New Hampshire for our getaway weekend! I can't even describe how perfect the timing of this trip was for all of us. It was so good to just go to a new place together and take the weekend to relax and reflect.

The area we were in was nothing short of amazing. The cabin we were staying at was beautiful. It wasn't just the cabin though it was the fact that the cabin was surrounded by trees and this amazing lake! The way the sun reflected off the lake . On Saturday morning we took out some kayaks. I did some quiet time floating around the lake. It was so calming. I couldn't help but be rememinded of when Jesus calmed the storm. Last week was so hard. One of the "stormiest" weeks I have had here. I just sat in the kayak in the calm waters and was so convinced that Jesus was calming my "storm"

Eventually we all got back to the house and hung out for a while. We ate breakfast and just hung out. Then we officially started our day. We did a bible study which then led us into our reflection. Our mission was to spend about 4 and a half hours alone. Just us and God. I took out the kayak again. I spent about 3 and a half hours on the lake just reflecting on how God has worked in my life and how God is still working. I took a big portion of that time just to pray. I can't even begin to explain what yesterday meant to me. I realize that it is so important to have these times where it is just me and God. It is so refreshing to forget everything and open up to God. I encourage you all to try this. Take an afternoon. Devote it to Jesus. You will love it.

I will admit it was hard at first to focus. First of all how many people have the chance to set apart 5 hours in one day? It was so hard not to focus on camp or on just other random things that didn't matter at the moment. I had a lot of trouble at the start but it did get easier. It was just me in God in that boat. He had my full attention and I had his.

We went to some random fair last night too. Nothing special. We thought hot air balloons were going to be lifted but it was too windy...so we left. After we got home we did our weekly debrief. So needed. Let me just tell you how great it was to share some of the things that I have been struggling with. It was also great to hear from everybody else how God was working in their lives and what this weekend meant to them. We had an extended time of prayer where we just prayed for each other. It was great. To be this engaged in community is more amazing everyday.

Today we all woke up and went to blueberry island(an island in the middle of the lake that we named blueberry island because it grew blueberries) We hung out there and jumped off rocks into the lake. It was so much fun. So out of my element and I loved it! We went back to the cabin and played some games and did random things before the second part of our reflection time.

Jim gave us all a peice of paper on it. We wrote our names on it and set it on the table. Everyone grabbed someone elses paper and wrote on one side words encouragement and on the other side some challenges. We all traded papers until everyone was done. After that we took some time to read them and they were so encouraging. Jims encouragement and challenge was great to read. He challenged me not to be afraid of continuing to take risks or continuing th strive for growth. He encouraged me to trust God in the midst of the scary places and trust that God will bring me through and grow me in this process.

Something else that was very encouraging was how many times people commented on my empathy. Since the SOMA confrence at church I have pondered how much I see my stregnths and how much other people see it. I guess it really is my number 1 haha!

The drive home was long. It was only like 2 and a half to 3 hours but 5 people in a small car...not very comfortable. It did make me miss the amazing road trip. It also made me very excited to know that in a month I will be back on the road! Yayyy!!

I am about to go to bed. One of the things God has called me to this weekend is to spend more time with him. So I am going to bed early so I can get up early and have some extended me and Jesus time!

I hope you guys are enjoying your summer as much as I am enjoying mine.

Thanks again for all of your encouragement and all of your prayers!

A little prayer request...

Last night wrote about how there were just some days that I wonder how God is working in my life...well I guess I don't have to wonder for a while.


He has revealed to me that I have a lot to work through. I spent about a half hour in the car with Leah (Camp Director) crying and talking through things like relationships, and confidence, and school and so many other things. I think its funny that this week I am the intern who is in charge of lessons and the theme just so happens to be about building relationships. And that is the issue God has brought to my attention. He picked a pretty good time to reveal that to me...but I must admit that doing that right before camp was about to start was a bit inconvenient ...haha God's funny like that.

I would love to go into more detail but I don't really know where to start. This is also something that I need to work through before I really go into detail. I think right now my task is to just pray about these things and be in constant communication with God.

So friends, please just be praying for me. Specifically for reconciliation of certain relationships and confidence.

Even though today has been hard and what God brought to my attention was a bit overwhelming, I am so thankful to see that He is working in my life and He is teaching me.

every day is different!

Well, it's the end to another long week.

I think back and I wonder what I actually did. Camp was a little crazy this week but when is it not. Everyday my love for these kids grows. The times of anger and tears and the fact that the just don't listen all the time is nothing compared to every smile, every laugh, and every simple little question! Those moments fill my heart with so much joy.

This weekend was super restful and so needed. No camp on friday because of the 4th of July. We spent saturday going to the movies and then went to downtown Hartford to watch the fireworks( they do fireworks the saturday after the 4th out here...so weird) I met so many people this weekend and had great conversations with people! I love it here!

This week is my week to plan camp. I stayed up pretty late the other night just preparing my bible stories and the skits for the week. I am really excited for this. Please pray that the week goes well.

In our debrief exercise tonight Jim layed out a bunch of pictures on a table. He asked us What we felt like God was asking us to give up to draw nearer to him. We do this every week with a different question each time but this one really got to me. I had a really hard time picking a picture. Eventually I picked a picture of a set of keys. No, God is not asking me to give up my keys. Its really hard to explain even now but I feel like God is asking me to give up control. He is asking me to pull over and give him control of the "car"
Haha I could make this really cheesey and title this update as "Jesus take the wheel" but I wont.

I have noticed that there are just some days that I wonder what God is doing in my life. There are days where I feel like I have learned very little but then there are nights like tonight where God asks me to give up control.

Busy week ahead! please continue to pray for me and my team!

love is strong, It's been there holding you all along

Where do I even start.

Sunday-
Church- We went to a church service that was over 3 hours long. It was so amazing. The people, music, preaching...all great. It has been really cool to attend churches that are in this community. It really is a nice way to get to know the city a little bit better!
Jesus for President- That was so awesome. I wish I would have been able to sit and talk to Shane and Chris a little bit more but they were awesome. Hearing them speak was amazing. The music that went along with their lecture was so fun. We got to see their veggie oil bus and eat dinner with them.

Monday-
Camp was a little crazy but it was expected beacause it was the first day of the week.
Moses- Okay so in our basement we have a whole bunch of HUGE wooden bible characters. So we thought it would be a good idea to put the giant moses on top of the house of the director of Hartford City Mission. So us interns and Jim-our boss walked to their house and put moses on the roof. It was pretty hilarious.

Tuesday
Crazy camp day again.
My night to cook dinner. It was so relaxing. I just blasted The Robbie Seay Band and cooked dinner.
Bible study- It was the last night of the book of Amos...We start James next week. We had some really good prayer after and just great discussion.

Today
Went to a meeting for a camping trip thing we want to do with our kids.
Camp- Took the kids swimming! So fun! I thought it was going to be crazy but it turned out to be a blast. One of the kids couldn't swim so I tried to teach him. I'm sure i wasn't the best teacher but he wanted to learn so bad. He couldn't really get the hang of it but he did get better. He was pretty frustrated but I encouraged him by telling him that it's hard at first but with enough practice he will learn.He promised me that he wouldn't give up! I promised him that I would keep helping.
Community Outreach- We helped a young couple move very heavy items from their third floor apartment to their new third floor apartment down the street. It was awesome to be able to help them but I just wish I was a tad bit stronger.

And now here I sit wondering where the week has gone. It is already almost thursday and I can't believe it. Today was a little rough. Camp went well. I feel like I did really well connecting with the kids and even the high school volunteers. I just found myself feeling pretty insecure about like where I am at with school or where I am at in terms of a job when I get back. Or where am I going to live. I totally want to live in community with other followers of Christ because just in the past month it has been such an awesome experience.

I'm not going to lie, it's pretty difficult, especially on days like today to be away from everyone. I mean like my friends and my family. I have missed home lately but at the same time I am loving it here. I feel like I am growing so much in my relationship with Christ and I am having a blast. Falling asleep is never easy here. The noise of the city and just the fears that run through my mind are pretty tough to ignore even as I drown them out with music.

Everynight during evening prayer we explain a time of the day where we saw God and a time during the day where we missed God. This could be anything. For instance a time where you saw God could just be a time where you really felt his presence or that he was speaking. Or just in seeing the beauty of nature or anything like that. Missing God is anywhere that you feel like God was just not there during or you ignored him, or anything like that. Today my seeing God moment was in the pool teaching Jabrel how to swim and just seeing how much he wanted it. He wasn't giving up. It was encouraging and I saw God teaching me something in that. I missed God during the day just not feeling adequate enough and just trying to find my place in the world and in this summer. Just feeling discouraged. I should have depended on Him in those moments but I didn't.

That practice is what we call The Daily Examine. I really encourage you all to try it. We do it every night. It really helps me acknowledge the work God is doing in my life but also helps me realize the stuff I need to work on in my relationship with Him

I should go to bed seeing that I pretty tired and have a long day tomorrow!

Day of rest

Today was our sabbath day! Let me tell you it was so restful!

We woke up with no set plans just a mood for adventure. We met up with Karl( Brittany's boyfriend) and Ana. Ana took us to this amazing place she goes to all the time. I have never seen anything like it. We hiked through the trees and through a river. Honestly it was so amazingly beautiful. We found this area that was a little scary for me but I made it down with their help. That was such a good moment. To hear their encouragement and to just let go my fears as they guided my steps and balance was just awesome! I feel like that was such a growing experience in that little 5 minute ordeal. We went back to Ana's and did some hot tubbing and then dinner. After we went out for ice cream and then back home. The day was great. Spending the day in nature like that really can recharge a person!

Tomorrow we are going to church and then we are working on the "Jesus for President" tour event that HCM is hosting! Yes!! I am so excited to meet Shane Claiborne!

Things at camp are getting so much better. I am forming relationships with the kids in my group and am starting to feel a lot more comfortable with what I am doing. I am really loving it even though it is super stressful at times. These kids mean the world to me! I feel a deep connection with my kids.

I have been reading the Hartford Courant(the news paper) and it seems like things are getting pretty nuts recently. Just the other night we heard a high speed chase out our windows. Someone was shot a few days ago and according to the newspaper 2 more on thursday. Please just be praying for the city of Hartford. Please be praying for the saftey of the children of Hartford. Please pray for me and the other interns!

I hope everything is great in San Diego!

<3
Julie!

Already week 3?!

This week started off extremley stressful.

Monday was camp planning day. It was almost a blessing that the car hit our building because we got a chance to do some vital planning and spend some time together. Things were a little tense at some points but not bad.

Yesterday camp was nuts. We changed around some of the groups. It was also the first day of camp since the crash. The kids had so much energy it was insane. Some of them were having a little trouble controlling their anger which resulted in them being suspended from camp for the rest of the week.

Today went so well. I really feel like I connected really well to a few of my kids. It was great just hanging out and chatting about their hobbies or what kind of pets they have. I feel really blessed to have the group that I do. They are all getting so comfortable.

I am feeling great about this summer. Especially today. I am finding it easier to step out of my comfort zone. Both today and yesterday I was in the bible story skit as a grape(we are teaching about the fruit of the Spirit) I looked ridiculous. But it was so fun. I loved it. I feel more confident in what I have been called to do this summer. This mornings devotion really encouraged me.

We are about to eat dinner soon and then we are going to a street fair type thing for our outreach! I feel like this will be such a great experience! A Hartford street fair...bound to be exciting haha and maybe a bit crazy!

Ohhh I'm so excited because Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw (Authors of Jesus for President) are coming to Hartford on Sunday and we will be hosting a pot luck and a book discussion type event for them! How amazing! I am so excited to meet them and talk with them. (Shane Claiborne also wrote the irresistible revolution) It's gonna be amazing!!

I should go though!

Have an awesome day everyone...I'll update soon!

Everything is changing all around me

God is so good. The pond house will be available to use for camp again! So we will resume camp on tuesday!



Yesterday was so great. We did some yard work outside and then we had our team sabbath.

We went to Brittany's( one of the interns) house in Avon, CT and went swimming and had dinner with her family. Then we went to the drive in and saw Kung Fu Panda. Well I slept through it but what I saw was pretty good. Then we went to Ana's house( one of Brittanys friends who is now all of the interns friends) for a bonfire. I was reminded of home as Steve and Ana played worship and we hung out around the fire. All of us were relaxed with out a care in the world. With such an emotionally draining week we actually were energized and relaxed. It made me miss the alphabet bonfires so much. I then had the thought that as I am back home I will be missing these times.

I just got a text from a friend( Keith) saying that I was missed. Hmm these are the moments where I miss home.I miss you guys but I am so afraid to go back home. I have been so blessed to be able to keep in touch with so many of you. Being away from home is not as hard as I thought it would be but it has its rough moments.

So far living in this intentional commuity has been amazing. These people are great. The kids are great. I can't wait to meet and interact with so many new people. God is really working in my life and of the others around me. I love hearing these peoples stories! I love walking and holding the hand of a child at camp while chatting about their intrests and about their pets or about their family. It's amazing. They are so loveable.

Please be praying for these kids. Please be praying for us, just that God will open our hearts and our minds. Pray for a good week, a much better week than last week. As we learn more about these children my heart breaks a little bit more for them.

If you guys have anything you need me to specifically pray about message me on facebook!

<3 Love you guys!

oh man!

This sure has been an interesting week.

Things got a little better after Monday. Each day was a little bit easier.

The other interns are great. It is great just being able to relate to them, study with them, learn with them. Besides camp we really didn't do a bunch this week. Last night though we went to a friends church for like a college age worship/message night. It made me miss Flood and the community of flood.

So, I would say things are going good. Sorry this isn't that interesting.

But I do have a major prayer request.

The pond house(where we meet for camp) got hit with a car on thursday night in a high speed chase with the police and like 4 other guys. No one was hurt but as of last night the guys got away. Anyway, The state came in and the mayor and everyone like that and condemed the building. So we now have no place to hold the next 6 weeks of camp. Please be praying for this. These kids need this camp. This may be the only time they ever experience who Jesus is.

Thank you so much. If there is anything you guys need just let me know!

Be gentle with me Jesus as you tear me apart...

Today, well...it was rough. I was so excited for camp to start. I am still excited for camp with these kids. We were all running around on not much sleep and too much coffee. It was a pretty entertaining thing to watch I must say.

Before we headed to the pond house(where camp is) we prayed in a group with all of the interns, directors of the camp, and all the high school volunteers...Let me just say that that was the most powerful prayer that I have ever been involved in. We have been called to love these kids. It was moving to see how many people came to help out.

Camp started crazy and unorganized...it's expected on the first day. The kids started showing up and we were all pumped. As I introduced myself to them and as I met my group I was so excited. I would be their leader for the rest of the summer. Amazing. Soon after I became discouraged when one of the kids in my group wanted nothing to do with camp or with me/other interns. As my friend Steve talked to him he felt more comfortable and I realized that it was probably because Steve is a guy and I'm a girl. It makes sense and I understood. I was still honestly a little bummed and felt like I wasn't doing enough to make Dion comfortable but I accepted it and went on with things.

We made anti-violence posters next and this is where my heart began to break. I was making my poster that said Violence is not the answer, Jesus is and I watched a young girl write :Stop the shooting. And then I witnessed a conversation of two young girls talking about how one of their uncles got shot and they went to the funeral. At that moment I had no idea how to respond. I felt sad. I felt angry. I missed God in that moment. I wondered where he was in that situation and wondered why these girls had gone through this.

The rest of the afternoon was kind of a blur. I had to stop myself from crying several times. I couldn't show the kids how much their pain became my pain. I got through the day and we went back to the house. Eventually I found myself in my closet praying. Eventually I was crying on my bottom bunk bed area feeling so sad and lost and unsure. Brittany walked in the room in a very simalar state like I was in. We sat on my bed crying and discussing the day. She told me about a girl who was in her group crying because she was afraid she would be the next in her neighborhood to get shot. She then told me about a beautiful moment where she took the girl in a room and the little girl prayed out loud for God's love and comfort. We were called out to dinner and the two others( Steve and Patti) asked us how the day went for us and we told them with tears in our eyes that we would tell them later. We finished eating and then talked about it. More tears but we needed to lay what happened on the table.

Evening prayer time was much needed too. We went around the room talking about where we saw God today and where we missed God today. We prayed for the kids and we prayed for each other.

Tomorrow is day two of camp. Please pray for all of us interns and everyone else involved. My heart has never felt this broken before

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. I love you guys.

The end of week one

I can't believe I have been here for a week already! The community has been amazing.

Today was just not my day. I fell down the stairs when we were leaving for church. Ow! The left side of my body is a little sore. And lets just say that it is kinda hard to sit right now haha. Oh yeah I was wearing a skirt too! Later I cut my middle finger opening up a new Venus razor I bought. Yeah my hand slipped and the tip of my finger is kinda flat now and not to mention throbbing. Awesome.

Today we went to an African American Baptist church. It was one of the first all African American churches in Hartford. It was really cool. Totally different but worth the experience. They had us stand up and introduce ourselves to the church. It was really welcoming. It was such an awesome thing to experience such a welcoming community of believers.

We had bbq for Josh, one of the graduating seniors who lives upstairs. It was a lot of fun just hanging out with everyone who lives in the house and all of the kids.

We had our weekly debrief and prayer after the bbq. I didn't realize until tonight how much God has already changed me. My dreams and desires for the future are changing.I don't know exactly what that looks like yet but something inside of me is changing. I can't wait to see what else he has in store for me.

I should be getting to bed. <3

Update!

Oh man! Last night was the best night of sleep I have had since being here! Yesterday was so overwhelming. There was a lot to do and a lot to learn and we were all exhausted. Praise God for the ability to rest and wind down! This has been a long week for sure! We are all pretty drained.

We learned more about the camp we will be learning! It sound's amazing!
Basically it's going to be a 3-4 hour day camp and each intern will be like a group leader for about hopefully ten kids. We are going to be doing games, devotions, memory verses, bible stories and a bunch of other fun things!

We spent a few hours in the city today just meeting families and interacting with new people. I love it! These people are amazing and to a point more approachable than some people in San Diego.


Right now is our sabbath time. We are not allowed to work on any camp stuff or anything HCM related...we are all pretty lost on what to do. I have not set up a time to just rest in so long. I don't know what to do with myself haha

Prayer request- Please just pray that more kid's will sign up for camp. Pray that we can show these kids that people do love them and do care about them. Pray that they may come to understand what Christ did for us and that their lives be changed by it!