And it's over...

Well as of 1:00 pm yesterday the internship was over.

It was very hard to say goodbye. We woke up and had our last devotion in which we wrote acrostic poems to each other. We can't read them until fridayWe then packed up and cleaned the entire house. I got the bathrooms! Scott( one of the HCM board members) brought us lunch and we had our last meal together.

Steve was the first to leave. He told me not to cry and gave me a hug goodbye. It actually started people were leaving and the summer was officially ending. We went upstairs to tell everyone goodbye(Specifically Kayla Kerry and Sean the kids who live upstairs) Kayla tried to tell us that we were not leaving. She had a rough time with this. So did I. She began to cry as I told her we have to go. She ran to me and threw her arms around me and sobbed. It was seriously the saddest thing. We went downstairs and she followed us, never letting go of me. All she could do was cry and I followed suit. I love how she chose the most emotional intern to cling to. Silly girl. I mean Patti and Brittany could have totally handled it:P. We walked outside and said goodbye to Leah. Me and Brittany hugged and she drove away. So it was me and Patti left so we got in my car and drove to Capen street. (Around the block) I went to say goodbye to Dion. So hard also but I handled it. I am surprised I didn't cry haha.

I dropped Patti off at her house and then drove to Todd and Tegan's house. It's nice here but it's not Hartford. I miss everything about Hartford. I miss everything from the kids to the annoying ice cream truck. I miss Kayla screaming out our window "where patti?" I miss the kids banging on the windows during our evening prayer begging us to come and play. I'm just really missing it.

I prayed for a long time about this last night. I am a little bit more at peace with leaving but everything reminds me of my time in the Northend. As I go through this I know God is my strength and peace.

I really wish that as soon as I ended my time in Hartford I could have made the journey home. Now that it is over I just want to go home. I love spending time with Todd, Tegan and their baby Liam but it is so hard knowing that in 3 days I will be saying goodbye to them also.

My life was changed this summer. I pray that God will continue to keep changing me and keep growing me. I have complete trust that God is going to lead this trip where He wants it. I pray that we can keep Jesus as the foundation of this trip.

Thank you for joining me on this adventure this summer!

I miss you all! I will be home soon friends!

Last Night

Well today felt like the longest day so far. It was also our very last full day of the internship. We woke up this morning and had our devotion. After that we did an activity together that involved us writing/drawing things we learned this summer. We discussed how life before the summer looked like and what life will look like after the summer. We did some other random things like that. It was a really good time of reflection.

Then Jim gave us our next task. We were to write a 5 minute explanation of how our summer was, what we had learned this summer and how what we learned can be applied to our friends and family back home.

After these few things I began to feel pretty sick. It started off with being super cold and then my body aching all over. It was followed by me feeling so sick to my stomach that I couldn't even eat 1 bite of lunch. I went to my room and had Brittany wake me up when it was time for bible study. It was so weird. I never really slept and I didn't really feel much better by resting but as bible study progressed I felt myself feeling almost new again(despite this cold I have)

Tonight we had our HCM end of summer celebration. Wow. I honestly had no idea that saying goodbye would be this hard. After dinner we were split up into groups and we each had to do a skit or song. We made up a song about this community of believers that we live with and called everyone by name and it was just a silly song that meant a lot to us. All of the other groups did skits about us interns. It was great. They were so hilarious and pretty accurate haha.

After that we did the evening prayer that we did every night with everyone(about 20people) It was really good but we didn't get through three seconds without me crying. I honestly thought I was going to be able to make it through that. It was then time to say goodbye to some of the people we have been with this summer. That was really hard. Goodbyes are never easy for me. I am terrible at them. Just thinking about saying goodbye makes me nervous.

Tonight we packed our stuff. Just being in the bedroom with Brittany and Patti was really nice and comforting just to be with people. If I would have been alone I would have been a mess. Actually lets be honest, I already was and still feel like an emotional wreck!

My goodbyes are a little bit different in that I am the one going the furthest away. There is a good chance that I may not see these people for a really long time but I don't want that to happen. I will be back. My Heart is in Hartford. I can here God whisper for me to come back.

Please just pray for me. My heart is heavy and burdened. I don't want tomorrow to come but I just want to get this done and over with at the same time.

My summer was amazing and now it has come to an end. What next?

I love you all. Thank you so much for lifting me up in prayer all summer. I will see you all in a few weeks!

and the goodbyes have started

Today just started off rough. I woke up(and still have a sore throat) everyone else in the house is sick so it was bound to happen.

It just came at the worst time. I really just don't want to be sick right now. haha but who actualy wants to be sick.

So today we had our debrief of camp with our street leaders( High school volunteers) It went really good. It was awesome hearing about how they saw Jesus this summer. It was awesome to hear them just vulnerable with us.We went around the room and told each other good things and what we liked about each other. It was really touching for us all to be bonding in that way.

We prayed and said our goodbyes. Today was hard. I had no idea how hard that would be to say goodbye to them. It just made it more real that summer is basically over. I will be leaving here in a few days. Two full days left.

I can't even think about what it will be like to drive out of Hartford on Friday.

I have been on an emotional rollercoaster all day long.

Tomorrow is our retreat of silence. Please pray that I can just be open to God's voice. Pray that I can stay focused on His plan for the afternoon.

Please also pray for my health and the others.We are pretty drained and weak. We need your prayers.

I love you

1 more week to go!

Well Camp NOAH 2008 is officially over. Its so weird.

I am still taking it all in. I really am just in awe over these past 7 weeks! They flew by!

There was good times and bad times. We had many challenges. There were countless tears from us and the kids. There was anger and dissapointment. There was violence and there were consequnces.

Even though we were always stressed, tired, overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and frustrated at times I would not change a thing. Through every tear and every frustration I just wanted to wrap the kids up in the biggest hug they have ever recieved and let them know that they are loved and they are so valued.

Leaving Dion may have been the hardest. I put so much effort into that kid. I put so much of my heart into him. I know God put him here this summer for a reason. Without even knowing it,Dion really taught me what it is to love.

Tre, his mom and sister all came yesterday. That was fun! I am so glad I got to talk with her and meet her this summer! She took my email address so Tre could email me! I am really excited to keep in touch with this kid! Hes great...but challenging :)

Leishla was pretty hard to leave as well. She was so sad camp was ending and she was so sad that we would be apart. We exchanged addresses so we could write each other.

Last night we (all of the Camp NOAH staff including all of the volunteers, leah, jim and us interns) went out to dinner at this really nice resturaunt downtown. We had a private section in the back and it was really good just to hang out and fellowship!


So from here there is a week of debrief then I head back home! :)
I am pretty happy to catch up with everyone! I am really excited to be back in San Diego but at the same time my heart has a special place here. All of the kids and parents asked if I was coming back next year and my first thought was yes. I told them I want to be back here for next summer, if not sooner for a visit!

Please pray for a smooth transition. Please pray for us as we reflect about the summer!
Also I have been getting pretty terrible headaches please pray for healing of those. Without insurance I can't really figure out what they are coming from or what I can do for them.

I love you all! And I will see you soon!

:]My eyes are small but they have seen the beauty of enormous things

These past few days have been great!

My time here is ending next Friday. I can't believe it.

Camp has been great this week. We have done so many fun things with the kids.

Monday was the best Monday by far! Usually Mondays are crazy because the kids come to camp after a weekend of no structure and sometimes no rules. They may not have received any attention so by this time they are starving for it...even if it is negative. This Monday I was really able to maintain my group. It took some work for Dion but hes doing so much better. There were a few times he got pretty upset but we talked about it and then he was better!

Yesterday we took the kids on a canoe adventure! It was so much fun! I will admit that I was very worried about it. I wondered who the first kids would be to flip their canoe or who would fall in. Thankfully, no one fell in. I was a little scared in my canoe. I had two 6 year olds. One of them, Leshia, was in front with the paddle.She was trying so hard but her little arms just couldn't turn the paddle correctly. And then little Larry was in the middle where he sat in the canoe so scared. It was really cute. There were a few issues. A few of us nicknamed yesterday tantrum Tuesday. ha ha so true.

Last night we(Hartford City Mission) had a benefit at Flatbread. Flatbread is a completely organic pizza restaurant. Steve played music and there was a slide show of camp all night long. The people working that night told us that last night was the best turn out for a benefit in a really long time( they have one every Tuesday) We are not sure how much we made but just in the donation box and donation cups on the tables was 120 dollars! so amazing.

Today was so interesting. My bed kinda broke last night so I woke up on a slightly slanted mattress. Rough morning. Ha ha. Then I went and picked up the lunches for camp( We are doing a free lunch program through the city) On my way home I passed our house by accident and was extremely confused. Then I got home and Brittany told me she desperately needed coffee. So we were quick like bunnies and sped off to get coffee for everyone! Camp was great. We went to this state park that taught us how to go fly fishing( we actually didn't get to go because the water was too high but now we know how) We also went on a mini nature hike. It was a lot of fun and the kids loved it.

Tonight was great. I took a nap and woke up to amazing dinner that one of our friends made us. Then we hung out for a bit. Eventually there was an intense sharpie fight. We did our daily examine but could not get through it without laughter. I have not laughed that hard in months. I was almost crying. I just thank God for fellowship and laughter.

Today was so awesome to sense God's presence even in the midst of confusion and situations that could potentially be frustrating! I really felt like I could rejoice even in the hard stuff.

It was also great talking to Sam tonight. A familiar voice from home is always good.

These next two days might be a bit nuts. Please just pray for energy and patience. Please ask God to calm my heart about the ending of camp. As much as I can't wait to go home and see everyone again, I am torn. I don't want to leave these beautiful children.
May God, who is a god who provides, a god of love, of patience, of joy, and of hope provide you with blessings and peace for the rest of the week!

Weekend Update

Yesterday went really well. Most of the kids went to the front of the room after we shared the Gospel message with them. It was beautiful. I talked to one of the girls in my group after. Her name is Leshia and she is amazing. She is 6 years old. She fully understands that her decision is to follow Jesus. Hearing that was so encouraging. If a 6 year old can have that kind of faith anyone can!

Last night we went to First Church for their end of VBS ceremony. So we went and they brought us interns on stage. For their service project the kids collected money for Hartford City Mission and donated 3 soccer balls to our camp! They raised almost 300 dollars! Wow!

After we went out to dinner with Todd and Tegan. It was so good to see them. It was so good to catch up with them. As good as the day was yesterday it was also really hard. My emotions were all over the place. I think a big reason for that was thinking about leaving and thinking that my time here is almost over...

Today was interesting...We went to prison. ahh! Actually we just went as visitors. One sunday a month this prison holds this event for guests to perform their poetry or raps/freestyles. Today Leah was one of the readers along with one of the high school volunteers.

One of Leah's poems was soooo powerful. She introduced us and then told the inmates what we were doing and where we were doing it. She then asked them how many of them were from the Northend of Hartford. An overwhelming amount of arms went up in the air. She then read her poem about us being with their children. It was so powerful. I just thought about the kids at camp and how some of their fathers are in prison. It was overwhelming to make that connection.

Curtis got up a little bit later and did a rap he just wrote. Curtis grew up and still lives in the northend. He shared that he was scared to be there. He shared that some of the dreadful things he has seen in his life. He related to them. He did such a good job. I knew that he could lead silly songs at camp and I knew that he could get the kids super excited but I never knew until today what he actually has lived through. It gave me a real life glimpse at what it is like to live here. I mean yes I have lived here for almost two months but it's a completly different situation.

We were talking later and Leah made a great point. Curtis beat the odds for this community. She said the first time Curtis ever went to prison he was not in shackles but he was empowering the inmates, he was proclaiming what God has done in his life. It was absolutley amazing.

Tonight I witnessed a real life fight outside of our house. I can honestly say that I am surpised that this was the first that I have seen. I am also very blessed to say that. God has surley protected us from danger this summer!

A new day...

Well today was a day of two extremes.

I did not want to get out of bed. It was pouring and I was cold and covered in my huge quilt. I woke up really overwhelmed with a really heavy heart. We discussed this morning how some of us feel burnt out because of how busy we are. Some of us also feel like we have not made much progress with the kids at camp. We just have to remember that this is the first time Hartford City Mission has put on a camp that lasted the whole summer...

Since it was rainy we did our bible story then showed a movie. After the bible story Steve had put together a hip hop beat for the kids to sing one of our songs to. The kids LOVED it. Eventually Steve asked if anyone danced and the kids went nuts! All of the kids just started chanting someones names right after another. They started with the staff and then went on to the other campers. It was beautiful. The kids were encouraging other and not fighting. I literally had tears in my eyes just watching this. It was the most beautiful chaotic situation ever! After that Leah decided it would be fun to play in the rain. So we told the kids to run outside and play! It was so much fun! The kids, interns and volunteers had a blast! It was awesome to actually play with them. I have never had so much fun playing in the rain then I did today! Before today I couldn't tell you when the last time I jumped in a puddle was!

Today camp was amazing. The best day so far...

After camp we came home and had dinner. Tonight was one of our last times to do some community outreach so Jim encouraged us to try something new today. We invited Dion, his mom and his brother over for dessert. (If you don't remember or if you are just starting to read this, Dion is the kid in my group who struggles with his behavior and who just has really been having a rough time at camp.) It was amazing. It seriously was so great to have them over. I just pray that we made an impact on that family.

Our day is pretty much over now. I have a bunch of reading to do and I have to prepare for a phone interview that I have scheduled for next week. (I am applying for a job at a preschool in San Diego)

I just have a few prayer requests:

Yesterday at camp we shared about Jesus and how he preformed miracles. I asked the kids in my group what kind of miracles they would like to see in Hartford. One of the kids said for the killing to stop. So please pray for that. Pray for the safety of these kids and their families.

Steve(another intern) just found out his Grandma has cancer. Please just pray for him and his family

Karl, a friend of all of the interns and a boyfriend to one, got word that his Grandma had a heart attack and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

Pia, a lady who has helped out teaching dance at camp, today her dad who has alzheimers has taken a turn for the worse.

We got all of this news throughout the day making the day a little bit harder. It's just pretty sad to see all of this. My heart goes out to those people and their families.

Also tomorrow is the day that we are sharing the gospel with the kids. We will be giving them an invitation to come to Christ. Please just pray for that. Pray that these kids will be changed by who Jesus is.

I'm super tired... time for bed!